The Horror!
by RedCynic
Summary: Why does Severus have cat ears? James knows- and Sev is going to make him pay!


To say that Severus Snape was upset would be a gross understatement. No, he'd long past _upset_ and left it choking in the dust to make way for seriously _pissed off_. And as much as Severus found the sight of blood to be rather unpleasant, right now, he couldn't think of anything more satisfying than smearing the floors with every drop that he could wring from James Potter's writhing body.

There were fights of course, but that was to be expected from two people who hated each other with an unholy extreme. There were curses, hexes, an occasional explosion, an act of public humiliation here and there, but that was all part of the game. And games had rules.

And _this_ definitely shattered them.

"Well, I think they're cute."

If looks could kill, Remus Lupin would have withered away on the spot.

Cute…

_Cute?!_

Severus wanted to scream. He wanted to throw something—to break something. He wanted to snatch up the nearest sharp object and send it flying straight into the face of James _fucking _Potter, who was having a great _fucking _time doubled over with laughter, clutching his sides while Sirius Black and Peter Petigrew howled with him. Two violent emotions were running a crash course through Severus's body: rage and humiliation. But humiliation was quickly losing ground and rage was building up speed. And suddenly the calm, collected voice in the back of his mind that usually saved him from such juvenile outburst was screaming with the rest of him as he raised his fist and slammed it across Potter's jaw.

"You son of a bitch!"

And it was wonderful—no—better than wonderful, and the pain that bloomed in his hand was nothing compared to the high of seeing James Potter fall to the floor, blood dripping from his lip. It was fucking fantastic, but as with all good things that happened to Severus Snape, it was pitifully short-lived.

"Sev!" Lily, in all her red-headed glory, rushed inside the room. "What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

It was then that Lily noticed two very peculiar things.

James was nursing a bleeding lip.

Severus had cat ears.

"Oh." Lily tilted her head, gave her best friend a quick once over, and said the last thing Severus wanted to hear. "Well, I think they're rather cute."

In the back of his mind, Severus heard a distinct snapping sound and then it all became very clear. It was as if a divine light had speared through the heavens. He was going to kill James Potter. With a yell, he lunged for him and drove his fist downward, burying it into the Chaser's stomach. James gagged, but only for a moment, and with a cry of his own, he threw Severus off him, pinned him down and sank his fist into his ribs.

"You know, I didn't think he had it in 'em." Black said, smirking as Severus wedged his leg in between the two of them and kicked James off.

"Do you think we should stop them?" Peter asked, cringing as he watched Severus rush towards James and jab his bony elbow into his stomach.

"No, no," Lily said, coming to stand beside them. "Talking does no good for those two, so let's see how far senseless violence takes them. Oh—nice shot Sev!" Lily cried as Severus snatched a cauldron and threw it at James's head, who promptly dove for cover behind an overturned desk and laughed when it sailed right over his unkempt hair.

"Aww, he missed." Lily pouted.

"Now, now," Black quipped. "Let's not get too negative. There's a lot that could happen today." Lily frowned as Black slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "There's a world of possibility swirling around this room."

"Black—"

"I mean, anything could happen."

"_Black_—"

"And you're Snivi—" _glare. _"Snape's best friend right?"

"Two galleons. Sev takes him down in ten minutes or less."

"God bless you Evans." Black smiled and made his way to the other side of the room.

"Peter, my good friend…" Oh and if he could have, Peter would have dug through the walls with his bare hands to escape. Lily tried to pity him, but Severus's masculinity was at stake and as his best friend, it was her place to back him up. Plus, she really wanted a new set of dragonhide gloves.

"Kick his ass, Sev!"

Ten minutes later and Lily was walking with her best friend fuming beside her, a big Cheshire grin on her face and a glorious two galleons richer. Back in the room, Sirius was shaking his head as he gazed upon the shell-shocked remains of his best friend.

"Way to let the side down, Prongs." He said. "You know you cost me two galleons."

"Hey, that was my money!"

"Same difference."

Out in the hallway, Severus was still trying to convince himself that leaving Potter alive was a good thing, considering the whole witness factor and how Lily probably wouldn't approve. Still…

"This never happened," he hissed, mashing down on his ears and cringing because they were so goddamned sensitive. "And I swear to god, if you even think about asking to touch them, I'll snap your wand in half!"

"You'll do no such thing," Lily sing-songed, reaching up and brushing her fingers over them. She grinned sadistically as she watched him try to fight down a blush. He lost.

"Not one word, Lily. Not one bleeding word." He grit out.

"No promises."

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any money from this writing.

Author's Note: Randomness, and no nutritional value whatsoever! :)


End file.
